Photo: Victor Decolongon
Dylan Cease in orange and black.
Corbin Burnes in orange and black.
Tyler Glasnow in orange and black.
Nope. Nope. And . . . (checks notes) . . . nope.
Three premier pitchers available on the trade market, and not only is none of them a Giant, but two of those — Glasnow to the Dodgers over the winter, and Cease to the Padres Tuesday — have moved into the NL West neighborhood.
Can we complain to the HOA about the new neighbors?
Or would you rather take a long look in the mirror?
Oof. Taking long looks into the mirror is no fun. All you see are receding hairlines, ear hair and double chins. But enough about my morning routine.
This Jock Blog comes not to completely condemn Farhan Zaidi’s winter. In fairness, the additions of Jung Hoo Lee, Jorge Soler, Matt Chapman and —eventually — Robbie Ray undoubtedly make the Giants better. If Farhan’s job was to make the Giants better, he has succeeded.
Partially.
Because the long climb out of mediocrity requires a lot of work.
And when you look at the 2024 Giants, the pitching rotation cries out for help. (Side note: when you look at any team in baseball history, pitching cries out for help. It’s like the 49ers and defensive linemen. All you want are more.)
So Glasnow was available in December, and the Dodgers got him for roughly the equivalent of Hayden Birdsong and Tyler Fitzgerald. Admittedly, this came with a risk. Glasnow is as injury-prone as Chevy Chase’s old Gerald Ford impression, to fulfill my “generationally-dated pop cultural reference” quota for today’s JB. The Dodgers also threw five years, $136 million at the Southern California-raised Glasnow right away, and all things considered, cost and injury risk — you can make an argument against this one. Maybe we give Farhan a wide pass, because there were other arms available.
Like Corbin Burnes.
A California kid who pitched at St. Mary’s, Burnes would presumably fit into the Bay Area and Oracle’s generous dimensions. It was believed that the Giants were interested. This was exciting, even if Burnes has only one year left before free agency. But, as my Grandpa used to say about putting — “never up, never in”. Burnes would be worth making that run. Go for it, right? Logan Webb and Burnes would be quite the 1-2 punch — except the World Series-hungry Baltimore Orioles jumped in and offered two well-regarded prospects — roughly the equivalent of Marco Luciano and Carson Whisenhunt — and a nice draft pick.
But you get Corbin Burnes. If you roll into Dodger Stadium with Logan Webb, Corbin Burnes, Kyle Harrison and Robbie Ray, you have a chance, partner.
So now the jury is getting a tad more disgruntled with Farhan, but there is still time for him to work something out for perhaps an even more attractive option, someone who has had outstanding success at the MLB level, is only making $8 million this year and is under team control through 2025.
Like Dylan Cease.
Instead, Padres GM AJ Preller — Bizarro Farhan, in terms of his desire and willingness to put ‘em on the table — gave the White Sox a handsome group of prospects, who would be the equivalent of Whisenhunt, Rayner Arias and Mason Black, plus a reliever named Steven Wilson, who would be the equivalent of, say, Ryan Walker.
It’s a nice haul for the White Sox. Of prospects. We don’t have enough time in the Jock Blog to list all the prospects the Giants have traded through the years that you never hear from again, as I was just saying to my good friends Nate Bump and Tommy Joseph.
It’s an even nicer haul for the Padres — of a proven elite starter, who is under your control for two full seasons, and perhaps more if it’s a love affair on all fronts. Two years of Dylan Cease is nice. Giants will find that out the first weekend of the season at Petco.
Bottom line: We all love the idea of prospects. A prospect is as romantic as “Field of Dreams” and the thrill of the grass. But not all prospects flower. Also, prospects are trade capital.
If you love hoarding prospects, Farhan is your guy. You guys might want to get together and stream “Hoarders” on Friday night. It’s available on Tubi. I checked.
But if you love the chutzpah of Brian Sabean and the late, great Giants GM Al Rosen, Farhan is not your guy. I have firm confidence Farhan would not send Mark Davis (who would win a Cy Young!), Mark Grant, Keith Comstock and Chris Brown for Dave Dravecky and Kevin Mitchell, who anchored the Giants’ 1987 and 1989 playoff runs. I have just as much firm confidence that Farhan would not trade Matt Williams for Jeff Kent, Jose Vizcaino and Julian Tavarez. Jeff Kent may be in Cooperstown one day.
And sure, you can Zack Wheeler me all you want. I still make that trade for Carlos Beltran. Life is short. The Giants tried to win a World Series in 2011.
The Giants may or may not win their 84 games to get that NL wild card this year. If they do so, it will take a confluence of events — a confluence that would have been made easier with any of those pitchers listed above.
As Ed DeBartolo Jr once told us, cleaned up for the kids: You gotta bring rear end, to get rear end.
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