By Brian Murphy
Kyle Shanahan canceled next week’s 49ers workouts, meaning we won’t see the 49ers until late July meaning — gosh, better knock out a Jock Blog assessing their place in the NFL universe after the Myles Garrett trade to the Rams.
Or, in my alternate title: “How Shohei Ohtani Became A Ram.”
You know what I mean. I know Myles Garrett does not tote an ERA in the zeroes. But, sorta. You dig?
What did we do to the sports gods to live in a world where the Giants’ and 49ers’ prime rivals in the Southland have stocked up on generational superstars like the 2026 Giants stocked up on losses in the first two months of the season?
The Rams were enough of a pain when they rummaged around and found Puka Nacua in the back of a draft day storage closet, and then added Davante Adams and, for good measure, traded for Trent McDuffie in the off-season. That’s not to mention their savvy drafting of pass rushers Jared Verse, Kobie Turner, Braden Fiske and Byron Young.
OK, fine. The 49ers had beaten the Rams nine of ten times from 2019-2023 — with the lone exception being that nettlesome thing called the 2021 NFC Championship and if I mention Jacquiski Tartt dropping a fair-catch interception in the fourth quarter, you can excuse yourself to have a moment.
We’re back now? Good. We can proceed.
But in the Nacua Era, the Rams have gone 4-2 against the 49ers, and make it four of the last five, with the only 49ers win being the Mac Jones Miracle in overtime last October in SoFi.
The Kyle Shanahan-Sean McVay rivalry is real, and it’s spectacular.
It even gained more steam when McVay and the Rams somehow convinced Roger Goodell that it would be a good idea to neuter the 49ers’ ‘home field advantage’ at SoFi by moving the 2026 49ers at Rams game TO FREAKING AUSTRALIA FOR NO GOOD REASON OTHER THAN SOULLESS MONEY GRABBING AND SPORTS COLONIALISM.
I digress.
So we’ve established that the Rams have gained the upper hand of late, but that hand became a royal flush when Rams general manager Les Snead took ‘F them picks’ to a whole new level — ‘F the League’? — and traded Verse, and three draft picks, including next year’s first-rounder, for Myles Garrett on June 1.
Already, the NFC West was an absolute minefield. We haven’t even mentioned who the defending Super Bowl champs are, and what division they reside in.
Ultimately, where does this leave the 49ers?
To be candid, in a tough spot. Blocking Myles Garrett is really freaking hard, and to do so while also trying to outscore Matt Stafford and Nacua is even harder.
To be crude for a moment, it was the old Sports Illustrated scribe Rick Reilly who described golfers on the late 1990s and 2000s like Phil Mickelson, Ernie Els and Sergio Garcia as being in the “Unlucky Sperm Club” — meaning their zygote germinated in time for them to play when Tiger Woods roamed the Earth. That’s bad timing.
On paper, the 2026 49ers of Brock Purdy, Nick Bosa, Fred Warner and Kyle Shanahan are in that club, as well.
Toss president of football operations John Lynch on that list, too. He’s trying to build a roster at the same time Snead has the current NFL MVP and NFL Defensive Player of the Year on his roster; and Seattle’s John Schneider is building the ‘Dark Side’ defense and turning our old pal Sam Darnold into the modern Jim Plunkett, a well-traveled Super Bowl champ.
Every 49ers Jock Blog comes with the NFL injury caveat, of course. If Stafford gets so much as a hangnail at age 38, the Rams could be toast. But if all teams are equal, it’s not an insult to say the 49ers are the third-best team in their division. It’s also not an insult to say the 49ers are one of the best teams in the NFL — again, that unlucky sperm stuff.
The only recourse now is to play the gosh darn games — preferably in the United States, but can’t do much about that Week 1 tilt now. Maybe Lions coach Dan Campbell gave the blueprint when he sarcastically said this week of the Rams, “they’ve won it now, right?”
I mean, if Snead can say ‘F them picks’, maybe the 49ers should say ‘F that trade’ and line it up and see what happens. Shanahan has been known to devise a game plan or two in his day. It can happen.
It’s just way, way, way more hard now.
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